Brides nowadays are all knowledgeable on how to plan the wedding of their dreams.  There are so many books, resources and even support /community groups that all talk on one thing -Weddings!  Lucky are the brides nowadays because gone are the days when you plan your wedding on your own without proper information on how a great wedding should be.  But brides may not know it that in the course of planning their weddings they are prone to get the inevitable bridal sickness.  I call them B-R-I-D-E-S (for easy remembering).  Though some maybe tolerable but if left unattended, they maybe dreadful and can put strain in your relationships.

Below are some of those common sicknesses.   How infected are you?   Find out and see how you can remedy these problems before they break out.  

BRIDE – CENTERED (or vanity)

“ I’m so conscious on how I’m going to look on my wedding.  I need to go to the dermatologist because I want my skin to be flawless on that date.  I have set appointments with known make-up artists and I’m still searching for the exact type of jewels / accessories to complement my wedding gown.” – Dorothy, 32

Hold it, girl!  You are not competing for a beauty pageant.  You are preparing yourself to declare your vows in front of God and of many witnesses.  Of course, it is your birth-right to become beautiful on your wedding since all eyes are glued on you but don’t lose your sanity to become a ‘diva’.

Remedy – the truth is, you are the only one in the white gown and veil.  You will look gorgeous no matter what.  If that is not enough to ease your anxiety, remember that you are always beautiful in the eyes of God.  Your true beauty lies not on the glittering jewelry and expensive make-up you wear but beneath your veil and gown where your pure heart glows enough to make you a radiant bride. =) 

RESENTFUL (or getting into trouble with parents / in-laws)

“My mother and I had a fight over a certain wedding item.  She keeps insisting what she wants which I do not like.  Just because she is paying a portion of our bills doesn’t mean she can act like she calls the shots.  This is my wedding anyway.” – Shiela, 29

At the course of planning your wedding, it is always inescapable to blow-off steam at your fiancé, your best friend, your in-laws, or your suppliers. Even the nicest girl next door would sometimes have a little fight with her parents.  Venting your anger once in a while isn’t bad as long as you’re not in danger of going overboard.  Experts say that all these boil down to stress or pressures of perfecting a wedding.  As regards the fight with your mother, if you look deeper, it is not really the wedding item you are fighting for – it is the thought of losing each other when you get married.  Both of you have undeclared fear and worries over the next big transition in your lives.  The thought of losing a child is already heavy burden for parents.  No wonder many parents bury their emotions under silly fights or by pretending uninterested on your wedding.

Remedy – Try to involve your parents by asking their opinions and find time to spend more time with them.  Have a dinner with your fiancé and your parents or in-laws.  This is a good way to show that you still need them in your lives.  As you walk down the aisle, who cares anyway if more of the teensy details are more of your mom than yours?  Well, at least, you knew you’ll be in her shoes someday. 

INDOLENT (or blowing off the wedding planning)

“I can’t get motivated to start planning my wedding.  We have set the date already and it’s barely six months from now.  I am not usually lazy, but with so many things to do, I don’t know where to start.” – Liza,33

You are complacent yet to start working on your wedding because you still have time or perhaps you are simply feeling overwhelmed.  What you need is a motivator or a good plan of attack.

Remedy – you can start off by consulting a wedding planner who can pave the way for you or ask your most organized friends to help you.  You can even follow the wedding checklists printed on many books or magazines.  Don’t stop there. You can also enlist the help of your man and give yourselves assignments on who’s in-charge of what.  In this way, you may feel ashamed if your man is already halfway in completing his job.  Wouldn’t that push you to make your move?

 DIET – ATTACK (or self-starvation) 

“When we have set the date of our wedding, I drastically controlled my eating and forced myself to do exercises and even took some diet pills because I wanted to be slimmer (or sexier) on the day of my wedding.” – Melinda, 33

Since the bride is the object of attention of her eager fiancé and hundreds of on-lookers during the wedding, naturally, you want to be in your best form as you walk through the red carpet.  But according to some experts, extreme dieting though can help you lose pounds, may not be at all healthy.  It will leave your skin pale and your energy is low and you can easily get stressed.

Remedy – you can minimize the amount of food intake everyday, exercise regularly and better yet seek the assistance of a nutritionist for a few recommendations.  If all these didn’t give you the desired waistline on your wedding day, don’t worry!  Maybe the whole idea of dieting may not make sense at all to your husband because in the first place it is not your weight but your heart fully-loaded with love and kindness is what he loves about you.

ENVIOUS (or feeling bad about the situation)

“I attended a friend’s wedding and it was wonderful!  She had the best flowers, great reception and splendid wedding gown.  I can’t help but feel envious that our wedding isn’t measuring up.  I feel bad at one point that we don’t have much funds for the wedding.” – Jeanette, 31

We have always dreamed of fabulous weddings like the one we saw on the magazines, on TV or on print ads.  Celebrity weddings and those of the rich and famous couples have always been the envy of many and you secretly wished that you had pockets even half that deep and you are spiteful because you don’t.  Cheer up, girl!  Perhaps you don’t know that grand weddings like those require much more effort and stress in the preparation (regardless of money).  It also poses much pressure for the couple because of the expectations they have to live up with.  More often than not, simple weddings turn out to be the best weddings.

Remedy – know your priorities.  Know what for you is the most important part of the wedding and remember that a wedding’s success doesn’t depend on cost.  As long as people have fun, as long as you enjoy the day, your wedding will be a big success.

 SQUANDERER (or blowing off the wedding budget)

“My fiancé and I have decided on certain amount of money to spend on the wedding.  We are also financially supported by both of our parents and relatives.  However, I got the hype of a grand wedding that I am going far… spending more than what is on our budget.” – Lala, 30.

It has been one of the top five rules in planning a wedding – set a budget and stick to it!  Needless to say, many brides have over-looked this rule and made some lavish spending only to find out later that wonderful weddings don’t have to be pricey.

Remedy – make a conscious effort to stick with your budget.  If one item you like simply goes beyond budget then skimp on the others.  If you really wanted a band or quartet on your reception, then perhaps you can go for local and seasoned flowers instead to dress up your entourage and your reception.

There you go brides-to-be.  Be cautious not to fall on any one of these dreadful sicknesses though these may sound familiar to most of the brides being pre-occupied on the details and the whole nine yards of wedding planning.  While it is true that beautiful weddings are products of well-prepared couples, still there is nothing more wonderful and memorable than tie- the knots without getting the disease. =)

Tess Lupena, Coordinator
The Wedding Belles and Charms (WBC)
www.weddingbellesph.com